Quest for Spiritual Awarness

[Caped Krusader]

The past few weeks have been very ...... hmmm whats the word ...... enlighting would be the best way to describe it. I have been on a personal quest of spiritual awarness, much needed. Its so easy to get lost in other people's world and forget your own. Something I tend to do often since I usually put others needs before my own.

Unfortunately, I am apart of the unemployment statistic that has recently reached an all time high of 10% and I am simply losing my mind. I've been doing a lot more reading something I use to love but lost touch with, and recently I found this stuff on Masons and Illunimiti. If you haven't heard about it .... look it up you would be very surprised as to what you find. Well you might be iuno. With all the things I read up on that crap, it made me more prepared for this quest. Anyway before I found those things, I was thinking to myself that it was time that I gave my life to Christ. I grew up in a very very very religious family, and went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. What I loved about church was the music and the testimonies. What I didnt get was the preaching. Which is the most important part I guess. I never got into it ok. The testimonies where interesting to me because of how people spoke so highly of God and what he had done for them, and how it made them feel. Why didnt I feel that way? I would always ask myself, why dont i see and feel what they are talking about. I just didnt understand. So every Sunday I waited and listened for someone to say something I could relate to, but they never did. As I got older I stopped listening as hard, and stopped caring. I started to think that maybe ...... this wasn't right for me. Soon i just stopped listening all together because i just couldnt understand. No one ever took the time out to explain it to me, so i just began to mimick the thoughts and the emotions of a Christian. And He called my bluff.

Now that I am older and have been through a lot more things, I feel that I am ready to be saved. I want it like a 16 yr old wants their licenses. Thats what it means to me. 16 yr olds look forward to their licenses because it represents freedom, and for me this is no different. I want my freedom. So thats what my spiritual journey is about. And for those who are into blogs like me ......... you will get to know me better than my family.

[Earth Mother Diva]

I've also dealt with a lot of the same feelings but for me the problem was I was in the wrong religion. I recently discovered Buddhism and when I started practicing it was like the lights turned on and all the darkness disappeared. It's definitely an amazing feeling when you find what's been missing in your life.

[Heaven26]

Wow you hit it right on the nose....I too was raised in a religious family and beleive it or not had many of testimonies on Sunday...... at a early age I gave my life to Christ...but like many I strayed away a bit....not from him persay... but the whole church thing....I think for me the fact that is was forced in my family...Put me in a unsettled mindframe of all of it....On my own as I got older I gained my own understanding of who GOD is and his purpose in my life......I do admitt I feel gulity now that I havent been in church is years.....I do give him my time everyday with daily prayers and appreciation....But my spirit urges for more....I have this spirit in me that speaks to me daily about going to church and bein more faithful to GOD...It might sound a bit crazy but it is the truth.....I believe things will change in my life for the better if I have more trust in him.....

I guess that was a open testimonies for me...

Freedom.......I guess Im looking for that as well......